My Spell Checker
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC;
It plainly marks four my revue,
Mistakes I cannot sea.
I've run this poem threw it,
I'm sure your please to no,
Its letter perfect in it's weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
- Quoted by Penney Harper
Why Geek Dudes Rule
�They are generally available.
�Other women will tend not to steal them.
�They can fix things.
�Your parents will love them.
�They're loyal.
�They're smart.
Things To Live By
Be nice to your children for they will choose your rest home (Phyllis Diller)
Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Despite the cost of living, it's still quite popular.
The trouble with life is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired (Milton Berle)
The aging process would be slowed if it had to work its way through Congress
Heard A Good One?
Say That Again?
10. I need to whip it out by 5!
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Put it in my box before I leave.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk NOW!!
5. Hmmm........I think it's out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
1. It's not fair...I do all the work and he just sits there.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
7. Look at the size of his putter
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be
desired
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
1. Think you can get me off?
Sayings
"There's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender." - W.C. Fields
"At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well... basically... your house burned even faster." - Ex-Fireman
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons - Popular Mechanics, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five
computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word.
She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let is read, 'Fred Brown died.'"
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a 7 word minimum for all obituaries. Only a little flustered, she thinks things ove